Saturday 25 November 2017

Requiem of the Lost

Dear Teacher,

Where have you been lately? Why can't I find you these days? I miss you.

Do you know how much I yearn for your praises, Teacher? How I always wish in my little heart that you would look at me and tell me what a good job I did? Or even what a good kid I am? And even if I am not, how I wished you would tell me that everything is okay and I could still try again? Do you know I like presents? And that I do not like pain? I like hugs too. They are so warm and soft. I hug my pillow when I sleep because they keep the monsters away.

Can I ask something else too?

Teacher, why do you ask me to do so much? Do I get a present for everything I do? Do I even get a present at all for anything I do? Why do you scold me in front of everyone like my Mommy and Daddy? I don't like it. Everyone looks at me funny then. And they always say something behind me after that. My friends won't even talk to me because of it. I feel pain in me every time that happens. I can't touch the pain. I can't see it too. But I feel it inside me. 

Why are my grades important, Teacher? Must I be smart to be a good kid? I want that pencil too. Mine are all broken and short already. I never get new ones. Big Brother gives me his when Mommy and Daddy buys him new ones instead. Are black colour pencil and the pencil I use not the same colour? Why do my friends call me poor when I used my pencil to colour? Why do they laugh at me too? I don't like it when they do that.

Teacher, I want to play games with you. Why do you only let my friends play with you but not me? I can learn to play. 

Do I talk too much, Teacher? Everyone says I do. 

Why can't I cry? Or ask for anything? Why won't anyone praise me?

I'll be a good kid. I promise. I can be good too.

Can't I?

Mommy and Daddy don't like me. They said it would be better if I wasn't around. What do they mean by that, Teacher? Why don't they want me? Did I do something bad? Lately I have been drawing a lot. I draw myself hanging from the noose and everyone else are happy. Would that make Mommy and Daddy happy?

I don't want to wake up anymore, Teacher. My friends at school won't talk to me. Mommy and Daddy won't look at me. 

And I can't find you, Teacher.

Where are you, Teacher?

Thursday 28 September 2017

Game Plan

 A detailed version of my Game Plan.

Brainstorming For Game Ideas

26/09/2017 - Tuesday

Workshop on brainstorming for ideas on games based on my 2 favourite games. 















 

Friday 23 October 2015

The World of Vampires and Werewolves: Twilight Saga

SPOILER ALERT! DO NOT READ THIS IF YOU HAVEN’T READ OR WATCHED THE BOOK/MOVIE! NO WAIT! READ THIS PRECISELY IF YOU PLAN ON READING THE BOOK!

After so many years of having been published did I just recently – last month to be exact – finally decided to read the famed Twilight Saga. The story tells about Isabella Swan and her involvement with the mythical world of vampires and werewolves. When I first heard of the triangular-relationship I thought, sweet muse what did the girl do to get these two boys going on a racial war against each other? And after reading it I found out I was wrong. Thank Heavens. Then I wondered what made the book so amazingly popular? Is the story just that good? Is the story’s world so wonderful? Sad news… the book disappoints me badly. That is very sad news for me because I’ve always found stories about vampires and werewolves to be rather interesting.

Bella, Bella, Bella, Bella… Sigh, I have lost count of the number of times I have attempted and have killed you during my time of reading this soap opera. There is literally nothing about this girl that gives me the motivation to read the book at all! (I only read it because I just had to understand why it was so well sold) And even after finishing all four books… Stephanie Mayer, the only redeeming thing about this saga is Breaking Dawn – the forth book in the series.

Twilight

The first book is not – and I repeat not – worth reading at all. It is just plain introduction to the Twilight world that is so plain that I do not recommend reading it. From the start till the end, this book just explains how Bella, in the most uninteresting and so anticlimactically, discover about the vampire world. And she even falls in love with one herself – Edward Cullen. Then later she just has to be the center of attention by being the obsession of another vampire – namely his meal.

And all the while I had but one question in my mind that would not leave me alone…

WHERE ARE THE WEREWOLVES?!

Jacob Black apparently was not aware of his own heritage at all…

So yeah, first book was a total downer… but no, this is the first book so let’s just hope the next book will be better.

New Moon

Nope.

This book is a must to avoid! It is nothing but pure teenage drama with needless self-isolation, self-pity, self-sorrow, and and and… just more selfish stuff from our dearly beloved Bella. (I tried imagining myself putting a bullet through her skull and replayed that scene over and over again while I read this book) But GOOD NEWS; werewolves finally emerged and are now officially part of this story’s world! Jacob finally learns the truth of his heritage and shifts into his wolf form. Being the more cheery and jovial of the two bachelor (the other being Edward himself) I found myself liking his character. Too bad he just has to be the kind of boy who acts like a love sick puppy – no pun intended here – and cling onto the slim and non-existential hope of Bella returning the feeling to him. Let me give you a hug, Jake (and a slap or two). Edward only returns to attention in the latter half of this book when he decides to commit suicide because his sister gave him false information and he has apparently lost his reason to live… Did I mention that Bella pretty much attempted the same thing as well just so she could hear Edward’s voice? Wow, how befitting these two pairing are.

There is something I found interesting in this book though; the Volturri. I’m guessing it is something of a trend and believe here – every stories I’ve ever read and movies I’ve ever watched the vampires all have one thing in common; a hierarchy. Somehow, one form or another, there is always a ruling house/coven/family/clan amongst the vampires who controls the rest. So like every other royal vampires, the Volturri is a powerhouse who has been ruling its subjects for well over a millennia. But that’s about the only interesting part. The rest is just mind-numbing bore.

Eclipse

YES! ACTIONS! BLOOD! GORE! FIGHTS! YEAH! KILL!

You just pulled the worst prank on me in this book, Stephanie. Not funny. I had to suffer through more teenage angst and drama and stupid triangular-love relationship for about 9 out of 10 of the book before I got to read some well deserved action… and even then I had thought it would have been between the vampires and werewolves… but no, I’ve been proven wrong. The eternal rivals have instead made an alliance to fight some newborn vampires instead lead by a vengeful female vampire who wants Bella’s head. Sheesh Bella, aren’t you satisfied with the attention you get from Edward alone? Apparently not. This girl must be an attention-whore without even realizing it herself. Oh not to mention, apparently Bella happens to rather horny as well considering how she keeps trying to coughgetcoughintosneezeEdward’scoughpantscough! Sorry, the haze is doing that to me…

Breaking Dawn

My friend, whom I borrowed this saga from, reassures me that this one will be better and I trusted her. And it is in a way. First, it is divided into three books or parts; Bella, Jacob, Edward Bella. Second, we got to see a baby! Third, I’m just going to say it again, second part is Jacob’s POV! Yeah, those are the positive points this book gets.

What I found dissatisfying about it is the boorish plot… Again dear sweet Bella gets horny but who can blame her? Edward’s her husband… though I think her parents did a terrible job when they gave the sex-talk. Did it not cross her mind to practice safe sex? Regardless of what she knew about vampires not being able to breed – that sounds so wrong, I just made them seem like animals – she should at the very least use what little common sense she has in that head of her and take a contraceptive pill. Or at least Edward should have made her take it. Why am I saying this? Because neither of them were even ready of the concept of being a parent! But what’s done is done, nothing to do about it except move on.

Next comes in Jacob! Now this is great because I got to escape from Bella’s POV! A fresh perspective. Some sunnier thoughts. And of course let’s not forget; more drama. I do enjoy reading the chapter title though, for example:

Chapter 13 - Good thing I’ve got a strong stomach

Indeed. Otherwise I would have been throwing up every meal I’d eaten at how sappy the previous books were. Still, I’m glad Jacob is who he is. And his part of the story had been on the more dark and serious theme. Breaking away from the pack, doing his best to protect Bella, fighting for what he thinks is right, watching someone you love and care dearly of wither away. The end of his part is when things just got sick…

Jacob imprinted on Renesmee, Bella and Edward’s daughter.

Allow me to ask you fangirls and readers something: did it not occur to you this story could have gone on an incestuous direction had Bella gotten together with Jacob instead? Jacob was only feeling an attachment for Bella because – this theory can be so weird – one of her OVUM (I told you it is weird) happens to be Jacob’s fated pair! Imagine your boyfriend telling you he kissed your mother and actually had feelings for her as well as having had inappropriate thoughts about her.

If this book was alive I would have stabbed it and watched it bleed like Tom Riddle’s diary…

Moving on from that disturbing discovery third part of this book is, I’m afraid I had to force myself to say this, fine. It’s not too bad and it’s not that great either. But Bella getting mad at Jacob for calling her daughter Nessie – I laughed my heads off at that – was what got me to continue reading till the end.
At the mention of the Volturri’s arrival my first thought was, actions! Sadly, reading this book has deprived me of much needed actions and fights. I would have much preferred if the political talks had come first then a second encounter of war for the ending of this book. Aro annoys me with his silver-tongued speech of protecting the secret world of vampires and ensuring their safety while plotting to gain some new pawns. Villains like him are just plain old-school and are not worth creating anymore unless you really know how to make them interesting.

So that’s the end of this saga; everyone lives happily ever after.

In a nutshell, the plot is hardly captivating for me, the characters are not memorable at all, and the world is just too plain. Bella is definitely the kind of person I do not want as the main character because that role is supposed to teach us important lessons. The main character is someone who influences us readers and Bella is not someone we want to be like. Jacob’s only good point is that he is slightly more alive than the others including Edward. Edward reminds me off Christian Grey without an interesting background – both are moody, both does the ‘stay away from me for I am hazardous to you, yet I will not stay away from you because you are delicious’, and both are mature yet childish at the same time. The other characters (the remaining Cullens, the other vampires, the werewolves, Bella’s parents, Bella’s schoolmates) are hardly more than decorations in the hall.


Oh, before I forget about this, shape-shifters are werewolves and vice verse according to the Red Indians. Considering the story is based in America and the Quileute are a Native tribe, Jacob and his pack are werewolves and shape-shifters. They are not separate issue but one and the same. Just thought I had to mention it.

A/N: This is purely my own personal opinion and any offence made are unintentional. Do not take it personally. I am a human after all and I have my own way of seeing things.

The Ugly-Beautiful Reality

In the deepest, darkest corners
Comes the most painful, sorrowful cries
From the dirtiest, ugliest doll
Out of grief and hurt in its core

A filthy, smelly rat passes by
Leaving fastest, smallest bites

A grumpy, chubby cat prances by
Leaving longest, nastiest scratches

A whiny, skinny hound stalks by
Leaving slowest, biggest tears

Now worn and torn
Missing and limping
The doll cries more

A beautiful, cheerful dove drops by
Leaving brightest, purest feathers
And a light is shone on that doll

Thus healing and fixing it whole once more

The Lost and Lonely

Hues after hues
Of multiple colours
Taints my mind

Knowledge and ideas
Represented in colours
Leaves my mind
With no rest

Words and actions
Both fail me
To tell others
My heart’s feelings

Woe is mine
Fate and destiny
To be accursed
In my journey

If only someone
Understanding and kind
Would find me
And guide me

Ne’er again shall
I suffer alone
In the dark

Thursday 9 May 2013

Eternal

No matter where or when
We were always together
From dusk until dawn
Not minding the situation we're in

No matter the distance
We always kept in touch
Through our toughts
Not minding the gap between us

Though time passes by
And we grow old as well
Those memories and time
Will not fade away with it